Zlatan Ibrahimović – the man who, they say, has played for the biggest clubs in the world: Milan, Juventus, Inter, Ajax, PSG, Barcelona, Manchester United. And, of course, let’s not forget LA Galaxy, because what kind of Zlatan would he be if he didn’t round off his career in a country where football is called “soccer”? Now, naturally, he’s an advisor at Milan – because who would dare not take advice from such a titan?
On the other side, we have Andy Carroll. Ah, Carroll… A player who debuted for Newcastle and then landed a £35 million transfer to Liverpool, only for them to realize they’d gotten more ponytails than goals for that sum. After that adventure, he backpacked across England’s football map, from West Ham to Reading and West Brom. He’s now playing for Bordeaux… in the fourth tier of French football. Carroll’s football journey could be described as a tumble down the stairs in the hands of “we’ll figure it out later” philosophy.
And now, what do we have? Zlatan posts a picture of his head battered by some Swedish colossus, and Andy Carroll, sitting somewhere in a fourth-tier French training room, seizes the moment: “Grow up, I’ve had worse from a lady!” Boom! The internet explodes – Carroll just “burned” Zlatan.
Of course, fans jumped into the fray immediately, as if this were one big video game. “Zlatan doesn’t feel pain, pain feels Zlatan,” wrote one, while another is probably waiting for Carroll’s next transfer to the fifth tier of French football to quip, “Grow up, Andy, Zlatan is the universe, you’re just an asteroid passing through.”
In short, when Zlatan and Carroll are at it, it’s not about who’s the better footballer. It’s about who’s got the better ponytail – and the sharper Twitter comeback.