Once upon a time, back when Europe was still pretending to be a community and not just a glorified flea market, people like Robert Schuman and Jean Monnet actually believed in something. They envisioned a united Europe, a land of progress, democracy, and prosperity, something more than a bureaucratic swamp filled with second-rate politicians, lobbyists, and hedge fund managers in thousand-euro suits.
Well, surprise, surprise—Europe today is everything they feared it might become. A confused, paralyzed political entity stuck between Putin’s muscle-flexing, Trump’s unhinged tantrums, and Beijing’s endless shopping spree. Oh, and let’s not forget the sudden rise of Middle Eastern petro-empires that, unlike the European Union, actually know what they want.
The EU, for all its grand speeches, is running around like a headless chicken, afraid to even acknowledge the mess it’s in.
WELCOME TO THE POST-TRUTH EUROPE
In case you missed it, facts don’t matter anymore. What matters is how people feel about facts. And thanks to social media, the average European now trusts Twitter conspiracy theorists more than any official EU institution. If Elon Musk decides tomorrow that the EU is a socialist dystopia full of lizard people, half of Europe will be rioting against Brussels before lunchtime.
And that’s the problem—Europe no longer controls its own narrative. Its leaders have all the charisma of a wet napkin, while real power lies with billionaires, algorithms, and soulless investment firms. Meanwhile, nationalist populists are on the rise, feeding the people exactly what they want to hear: “You’re victims! Brussels is screwing you! The EU is the new USSR!”
THE INCOMPETENCE OLYMPICS
If Brussels were a reality show, it would be called Europe’s Got No Talent. Every election, we get the same parade of uninspiring, clueless bureaucrats who couldn’t run a lemonade stand, let alone a continent. These people have no vision, no guts, and no strategy—just recycled talking points and empty platitudes about “solidarity” while Europe falls apart in slow motion.
And that brings us to the biggest joke of all: the so-called democracy deficit. While the EU lectures everyone else about human rights and freedom, its own decision-making process is about as transparent as a foggy night in London. Regulations are cooked up in backrooms, deals are made over expensive wine in Brussels, and the only thing the average European gets is a higher cost of living and another speech about “European values.”
WHY PEOPLE ARE TURNING TO POPULISTS
Here’s a radical thought: maybe, just maybe, people are voting for nationalist idiots because they’re sick of being ignored. Maybe they’re not fascists or xenophobes—maybe they’re just tired of a system that treats them like disposable cogs in an economic machine.
Meanwhile, the EU keeps telling itself everything is fine. But it’s not fine. When Slovakia, Poland, and Hungary—countries that owe their entire economic survival to EU money—start flirting with the idea of leaving, you know something is rotten in Brussels.
And it’s not just Eastern Europe. Across the continent, the working class is realizing that globalization hasn’t made their lives any better. Wages are stagnant, the welfare state is crumbling, and the only ones getting richer are the multinational corporations that have Brussels in their pockets.
So they’re looking for alternatives. And right now, the only people offering an alternative are the far-right nationalists, because mainstream parties are too busy rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
EUROPE: REFORM OR DIE
If the EU wants to survive, it needs more than a few cosmetic reforms—it needs a full-scale remont. Either that, or it can continue its slow, miserable decline into irrelevance, where it will one day be nothing more than a playground for American hedge funds, Chinese investors, and Russian oligarchs.
And here’s the punchline: The EU’s enemies are not the far-right populists or the nationalists. The EU’s biggest enemy is itself. Its inability to change, its addiction to bureaucracy, and its arrogance in assuming that people will just blindly accept whatever nonsense comes out of Brussels.
Because if it doesn’t change, people will leave. And when that happens, the only ones left celebrating will be Putin, Xi Jinping, and every offshore billionaire looking for another playground to plunder.
So, dear Brussels—fix it, or get out of the way. IURKOV / POSKOK