I will try to be as nice as possible in my descriptions and images, ignoring the past wars.

Slovenia :

• ski resort of Yugoslavia
• weird language, especially the closer to Austria you get
• rich people, stereotype that they’re snobby, kind of Catholic, but very liberal compared to the rest of the ex-Yu countries
• wants to be Central European, not Balkan nation
• Slavic Austria
• Kranj sausages, shares a lot of food and drinks with Croatia (kifle, štrukle, teran wine..etc.)
• understand Kaikavian Croats
• wants Trieste for the coast
• Triglav (Threehead) mountain

Croatia :

• my country
• somewhere between Slovenia and Serbia’s money situation
• the beach tourism republic, but almost no tall mountains and our country is shaped like a boomerang or a dragon at the same time
• separated into two ways of thinking : coastal and continental
• the people here speak three dialects that people from the other dialects don’t understand, yet we have a standard language that is often disputed if it’s a separate language from the other ex-YU languages
• Catholic, conservative people
• coastal people love fish, squid dishes whilst continental people love meat dishes like pig or beef, štrukle and pašticada
• hugs Bosnia and Herzegovina for dear life, speaking of Herzegovina, approximately 50% of Croatia has some connection to the country
• Dubrovnik is an enclave to the rest of the Croatia, it is also the Pearl of the Adriatic
• didn’t have a country from 1102 to 1991, but we still retain our national pride to this day

Bosnia and Herzegovina

• mini Yugoslavia
• shaped like a triangle, lots of tall mountains
• has 3 presidents for each constituent ethnic group
• soft core Muslims, hard core Christians
• worst politicians and administration in all of ex-Yu
• best musicians and funniest people/also they receive the most jokes
• land of burek and cevapcici
• the gateway between West and East, influenced by both the Austrians and Ottomans
• hot pot of ethnicities, religion and language/dialects
• the place where Franz Ferdinand got shot, in the capital of Sarajevo, also called European Jerusalem.

Serbia :

• heart of the Balkans
• land of rakija and pljeskavica (my favorite alcoholic drink and food)
• speaks Shtokavian, but everyone forgets about the Torlakian dialect that is spoken in south-eastern Serbia
• very passionate people in whatever topic they decide to be passionate about, for example they’re indisputably the best basketball country in all of ex-Yu and Europe
• for some reason when I think of Serbia, I think of dads telling inappropriate jokes to their sons, maybe that’s just my perception, however the Serbs are jokesters and party people
• Belgrade has the best night life and young people enjoy turbo folk music
• largest ex-Yu country, most populous country and ethnic group, proud Orthodox Christians, Saint Sava

Montenegro

• has both coast and mountains
• people are stereotyped to be lazy, but that is just a joke, historically the Montenegrins have been very fierce warriors and they have a strict warrior code
• a Montenegrin captain called Aleksandar Lekso Saicic defeated a Japanese swordsman in a sabre vs katana duel in the Russo-Japanese war, national hero, died saving precious books from a Montenegrin library after jumping from the 2nd floor
• similar to coastal Croats in that they enjoy seafood, but they also like burek and cevapi
• its ancient counterpart was called Duklja/Dioclea and then the name was changed to Zeta and eventually to Crna Gora/Montenegro which means black mountain
• a struggle for the Ottomans to control because of the mountainous terrain, it was the last independent Balkan country to be conquered by the Ottomans and the first to attack them in the Balkan Wars, Montenegrin bravery is detailed in Ivan Mazuranic’s book “Death of Smail-aga Cengic” where the Montenegrins kill a local Ottoman ruler

North Macedonia :

• most neutral country in the ex-Yu, they got their independence with no bloodshed
• Mother Theresa’s birth place, also birth place of ajvar, vegetable caviar
• flat country, great for vegetable planting, but also prone to earthquakes, best quality opium in the world
• speak a language closer to Bulgarian than Croatian or Serbian
• the only place where you can say that you were born in South North Macedonia due to the new name
• Vardar river, Ohrid lake, in general beautiful green environment

Kosovo

• the only non-Slavic majority ex-Yu republic, depending on what side of the Kosovo argument you are
• a country of full of Orthodox churches and monasteries, but also Catholic churches and mosques
• name means “land of the blackbird”, it also has a gold mine in the north of the country, in the Trepca mining complex
• it’s a big open field surrounded by tall mountains
• uses the euro, not the Serbian dinar nor the Albanian leka like you would think
• youngest country in the Europe because Albanians have no idea what a condom is (that is just a joke and that’s good since they’re not affected by the white plague)
• homeland/place of origin to the famous singers and/or models Rita Ora, Era Istrefi and Dua Lipa, also half of the Switzerland national football team is either from or has origins in Kosovo

The ex-Yugoslav area is not the most stable, the powder keg of Europe even, but you can’t say that there is no worth in this piece of land. The land, the people, the food..etc. everything is beautiful here.