So, in the never-ending circus that is American politics, a Ukrainian volunteer has just discovered that his real enemy isn’t Putin – it’s his own uncle.
Yes, you read that right. Nate Vance, a former Marine and self-declared warrior for freedom, is shocked that his uncle, JD Vance – who also happens to be the Vice President of the United States – does not share his enthusiasm for a three-year war epic in Ukraine. Unbelievable but true, JD dared to suggest that maybe, just maybe, America should stop throwing billions into a war that increasingly resembles an HBO series with infinite seasons.
And now what? Well, naturally, Nate is heartbroken.
“Uncle, how could you?!”
In an interview with Le Figaro, Nate – who voluntarily enlisted in the Ukrainian military and spent three years from 2022 to 2025 playing Call of Duty with real bullets – poured his heart out. He says his uncle has betrayed Ukraine, him personally, and all his fellow soldiers.
“Being your family doesn’t mean I’ll accept you killing my comrades,” whined Nate, convinced that JD personally loaded Russian missiles onto trucks and sent them toward Kyiv.
As if that wasn’t dramatic enough, young Vance took the news that his uncle has no intention of letting American taxpayers indefinitely fund an unwinnable war as a personal attack.
“I could have told him the truth, but he didn’t want to listen,” Nate lamented, as if JD Vance had graduated from the Ohio State University’s political science department straight into the FSB’s special ops training program.
Who’s actually insane here?
So, on one side, we have a Ukrainian volunteer who believes the US should bankroll this war until the last Ukrainian falls, and on the other, his uncle, who has dared to suggest that perhaps, just perhaps, America has other interests beyond sending billions to Zelensky.
And who’s the rational one here?
Is it JD Vance, who understands that America might not want to endlessly feed the war machine while people in Ohio can’t even get clean water? Or is it Nate, who has been so consumed by the Ukrainian war effort that he’s now ready to declare his own uncle a traitor for not personally sponsoring another ten Abrams tanks?
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Nate Vance is not the first American soldier to treat the war in Ukraine like his personal Marvel franchise, but he is probably the first to conclude that the real traitor is someone who isn’t personally funding his military adventure.
Because in today’s America, if you’re against the war, you’re automatically the enemy. If you think that maybe the US shouldn’t be indefinitely financing a war with no clear path to victory – well, then you must be a Putin agent.
And while the world falls apart, a young Marine from Ohio delivers a dramatic monologue to Le Figaro, shocked by the revelation that some Americans still believe that America should actually care about – gasp! – America.
IURKOV / Croatian media outlet Poskok, Bosnia and Herzegovina